Another reason we discourage small children from attending is because we wish to encourage audience participation during the fight. Specifically, we want you to help us insult each other! Here's a small list of suggestions you may use, some of which may contain coarse language or sexual references. Such insults may be NSFW (Not Safe For Work).

If you don't get a reference, that's okay! Geeks and nerds are used to not being understood.


Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

You hit like a girl! Not you, the other one!

You are a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.

You stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking…Nerf herder!

Laugh it up, fuzzball!

You’re about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican.

He/She may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He/She really is an idiot.

I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.

Don’t look now, but there’s one man/woman too many here and I think it’s you.

You are a sad strange little man/woman, and you have my pity.

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs.

Your brain’s so minute that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

I’m trying to insult you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin!

You would bore the leggings off a village idiot.

The best thing about you is your absence.

Smeg head!

What are you, a captain in the innuendo squad?

You are one bit short of a byte.

I do desire we may be better strangers.

Yo momma so ugly, she can cure Pon Farr!

You did too much LDS in the 60s! (not a typo)

Filthy petaQpu'! (pronounced "peh-tah-k")

You're so ugly a Ferengi would put clothes on you!

Real men wear underwear on the outside!

Yo mamma so fat, she has her own neutral zone.

Yo momma's so fat you can slingshot around her and travel back in time.

Yo Momma's so ugly even Captain Kirk won't sleep with her!

Yo momma's so ugly even the Borg won't assimilate her!

Microbrain! Growl for me, let me know you still care!

You're so boring you put Vulcans to sleep!

Sorry little pony, your friendship is not magic.

Is that a tribble in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Nobody knows where you get your delusions from, laser brain.

Yo mother so stupid Jar Jar Binks is embarrassed by her.

Not even Data could extrapolate what comes out of your mouth.

Where did you dig up that old fossil?

A mind is a terrible thing to waste, but you're too late.

I've tried to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head up my ass.

I'd call you a smartass but you're only half qualified.

it's pointless to banter with you when you can't recognize when you're insulted.

No, sorry. Stupidity is not a virtue!

Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?

The short bus called. You forgot your helmet.

I could agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

Stop letting Ray Charles dress you!

Being around you is like having cancer of the soul.

I thought you were attractive until you opened your mouth.

I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember asking for your opinion.

Wipe your mouth. There's still some bullshit on your lips.

Life's a bitch. Wait, sorry. No, that's you.

Did you take penis enlargement pills? You're twice the dick you were yesterday!

I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun, not you.

Do you mean to mumble or is your mouth normally full of shit?

If I toss a stick, will you go away?

Unless your name is Google, stop talking like you know everything.

Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?

I'd like to say I'm happy to see you, but I was taught not to lie.

Twinkle, twinkle, little whore. Close your legs, they're not a door!

I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you.

Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are.

Hold that pose! You're the poster child for birth control!

You validate my inherent distrust of strangers.

Close your zipper, your brains are hanging out.

I've heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Crispies.

If I'm ugly we must be twins!

I'd slap you, but I'm against animal abuse.

I've been called worse by better.

Let me help you out. Which way did you come in?